In Memory

On Sunday, April 19th, my mother, Ethel Frech passed away. She was, by all accounts, a mess which is considered a good thing here in the South.

Ethel Frech 87 years old

She was born in 1927 in Morgan County, TN (eastern TN) as Ethel Hawn. Her rather unique approach to dealing with life's challenges was what we called Morgan County ingenuity and it came into use frequently as she managed to hold together our household of three kids and at any point in time one or two dogs, assorted aquariums and of course Dad.

She trained as a nurse, beginning her career as an infectious diseases nurse. That was quite the profession in those days where the patients she took care of often had diseases that had no cure. She was a lot like the nurses and doctors that travel the globe dealing with exotic diseases. But her passion turned to psychiatric nursing and she soon became recognized by her colleagues as an especially skillful clinician. But she left all of that behind to have a family and be a stay-at-home Mom. That's not to say she didn't continue to use her training. She nursed kids, dogs, birds, ducks (we once raised Mallard ducks as a project) and neighbors whenever necessary. She had three siblings, two brothers and a younger sister. They were a tight bunch as the Hawns tend to be and she took care of them too. They all looked to their big sister for advice and help and at times got a sharp tongue if she thought they needed it.

When Dad retired she took a refresher course in nursing and went to work at a local mental health organization. She was 60 at the time and loved every minute of it. She would come over sometimes after work and we'd talk about the doctors and how some of them didn't know steak from shoe leather. She had her favorites too.

She was sometimes the grace of calm in stormy situations. When I was 19 I came out to her when on leave from the Navy. It was more like a conversation over coffee than a coming out story. She was ironing Dad's shirts when I told her. She didn't miss a wrinkle in her ironing and simply said "are you sure?" I was and she said "OK, that's fine." That was my coming out story. Short and simple. No drama. She told me years later that her only concern was that being gay was going to make my life harder but she never wavered in her support of me.

She had a temper, which unfortunately I inherited. Nothing would rile her more than if one of her kids was being mistreated. When I was in the 6th grade we had what, at that time, passed for sex education. The girls went to one classroom, the boys another and we watched a film strip about the changes we were going to see in our bodies. The actual sex education part was less than helpful and left the boys in the room wondering just how babies were made. Being the son of a nurse I learned early on where babies came from and was even treated to pictures of various stages of pregnancy in my mother's nursing text books. It wasn't a mystery to me. After our film strip we went to lunch and the subject at the table was where babies really did come from. There were many theories, all of which were wrong, and I decided that I'd explain the process in detail. That got me sent to the principal's office for talking dirty.

Of course Mom was called to come to the school. I was waiting for her in the principal's office. I wasn't worried. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong. I just felt sorry for the principal. I'll never forget what she looked like when she came in the door to the school's office. She rarely wore makeup but that day for some reason she had on make up and her hair was done (she and Dad may have planned a night out). She came through the door and in one fell swoop she grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into the principal's office. "Mrs. Frech" the principal began before being interrupted. My mother looked at me and asked if I had in fact been talking dirty at lunch and I said no. I explained the film strip and the confusion and the fact that I was simply trying to be helpful and correct some of the misconceptions that seemed to have been created by the class. She sent me back into the office to sit and wait and shut the door. I couldn't hear what was said but it didn't take long before we left. Nothing was ever said to me again about the incident. Years and years later (when I was in my 30s) I asked her about that day and if she remembered what was said. She did and told me that she informed the principal that if they were going to teach something to do it right, and if they didn't know how it worked let her know and she'd explain. That is how she dealt with life. Full on. Don't avoid the difficult parts. Deal with them as they come up and keep moving forward. Always move forward.

I could go on and on with stories about my mother. She was such a rich source of entertainment for me and our family. Electronics where an especially difficult concept for her. She often said that if it had more than three buttons she didn't want it. Of course that changed when she had her first granddaughter and needed a microwave to warm up milk. When we got a microwave it was the size of a car and needed an engineer to operate. She learned out to operate it surprisingly enough. When I got my first answering machine I tried to explain to her how it worked. I spent a lot of time out of town back then and needed and answering machine. There were no cell phones. I came home one Friday night and listened to the week's messages. The first one was from Mom. It said: "this is your mother, Ethel, Frech, call me." I don't know how many Ethel Frechs she thought I knew but she was going to make sure I called the right one back. I kept that tape for years just to hear her say that. Made me laugh every time.

She once told her brothers, sister nieces and nephews that before she died she wanted to try pot. She was in her 80s when she made this pronouncement and probably didn't remember that she and I once shared a joint on the back steps of the house on Fairlawn Drive in 1976. Her rational was that she wanted to know what is smelled like so she could tell if my brother or sister were indulging. I was in high school and it was finals time. I was a senior and hadn't taken a full days worth of classes so I got out of school very early. I didn't have to be at work until later in the day so we planned our little pot party for after school. We smoked, got the giggles, raided the refrigerator and laughed some more. I was sworn to secrecy but I guess the cats out of the bag now.

She was a master gardener. Everywhere we lived she'd find a spot to grow something. When we moved to Fairlawn Drive in Charlotte she put in gardens around the house. It was like a forest. When she and Dad moved to Charleston to be closer to me we put in a garden together. The first year wasn't so hot but the following years we got a pretty good harvest. This is a picture of her not being able to wait for the rain to stop before checking out her plants. She even augmented the landscaping around the assisted living center. Single-mindedness.

When she and Dad went to assisted living there were some ups and downs. It took a while for her to get with the plan that the staff was there to help them. Her fierce independent streak made that transition difficult but we made it through and she found some good friends and developed some very close friendships with the staff. Here's a picture of her on Halloween ready for the costume party.

Of the many things I learned from her that has served me well throughout my life is how to cook. Mom was an excellent self-taught cook and would make all kinds of food. My favorite was her Chinese on my birthday or marinated steaks on the grill. The only thing she couldn't cook was fish. She loved having the head on and baking it in the oven. She'd serve that with peas and carrots for a meal that I had to pass up every time. I would tease her about having fish and peas and carrots. Ugh. Nasty.

She adored her granddaughters (all four of them). I would laugh when she would write them letters about behaving or her expectations for them. She was a serious Mamaw to be reckoned with if you got out of line. I've been on the receiving end of those letters too. They told you what you needed to hear whether you wanted to know or not.

She was a remarkable woman. Just before she died she was rearranging the nursing unit so that people who liked each other were on the same halls and people that were difficult were on other halls. Leave it to Mom to rearrange the nursing units at her nursing home. That is what you call spunk!

I could write volumes about Mom but this should be enough for you to see what a remarkable woman she was. I'll miss her so much.

Safe and Sound

It's been a while since I've posted. Our adventure continues.

In the last blog post I made we were in Mt. Pleasant, SC for doctor's appointments and some time visiting with friends. While there we had maintenance work done on the truck and took it to a carwash to get the salt and grime off of it. It was quite a mess. We also needed to get it vaccumed and to remove the nose prints Gracie the wonder dog puts on the windows. The carwash that day was so entertaining that I had to memorialize it in a blog post.

When we lived in Charleston I went to this carwash at least one a month. They did a good job and I had a customer rewards card that got me a free wash periodically. I didn't realize it at first but the carwash had changed hands since I was there last. Things were a little backed up when I pulled in so I waited patiently for the guy who tries to up sell you to their more expensive services. This is a little dance we do--he suggests things I didn't know you could clean and I say no. Once we get that out of the way I get my routine wash and vacuum and we're all set.

This time the up sell guy wasn't as motivated. In fact he didn't try and up sell me at all. He seemed to be less than enthusiastic about his job and with minimal discussion I got the basic wash and we were done.

I always wait to watch my truck go down the washing tunnel. I guess in that way I'm just a big kid. Once the truck was on its way I walked down to the customer lounge, paid for my wash, and had a seat to wait. That is when the fun started.

The cashier was making a call when I walked up and she deftly managed to check me out while her call was being completed. When the person on the other end of the phone answered she appeared to be quite surprised. Whoever answered the phone apparently wasn't who she expected which set off a stream of cussing and accusations. From what I pieced together she was calling her boyfriend and another woman unexpectedly answered. As and aside, if you were stepping out on your girlfriend why have your other girlfriend answer your phone? The cashier demanded to speak with her boyfriend who was apparently not available. This resulted in her slamming down the phone (did I mention that she was on the business's phone?) She grabbed her cigarettes and stepped out of the waiting area to the smoke a cigarette and fume. While she was out the phone began to ring. There wasn't an employee in the waiting room so the phone just rang and rang. Whoever it was finally gave up.

When the cashier came back in she called her boyfriend again and he apparently answered this time. "Who was that?" she asked. "Tell her I'm coming over and she better not be there." At this point more people were ready to pay and she did the most wonderful job of yelling at her boyfriend and cashing people out. She'd yell at him and completely turn her voice around and speak to the customer. She did this flawlessly.

At this point I was worried that my car would be ready before she was done yelling at her boyfriend. I was fascinated by the fact she could be yelling at her boyfriend and then turn to a customer and be as friendly as you could want.

She ended up hanging up on him again and went out for another cigarette. Of course the phone rang off the hook while she was gone but that apparently wasn't her concern. She came back again and called him. "I'm going to cut you so bad" was her next pronouncement and then she hung up.

In the mean time cars were pouring out of the wash tunnel and no one was picking them up. This caused several cars to slightly bump each other at the end of the tunnel. The washing machine was also leaving the cars covered with soap. People in the waiting room began to notice and started to complain to the cashier between phone calls to her boyfriend.

She called on of the dryers who came in and saw the mess that was being made. He shut down the washer and went out to move the cars. Enough complaints had been made at this point that he had to take 5 or 6 cars back through the washer. People were waking out to check for damage on their cars. Mine is so beat up that I didn't bother. Besides, I wasn't about to leave with the fate of the cashier and her wayward boyfriend in the balance.

At some point the checker in guy disappeared and there was a big backup of cars waiting to get checked in. This meant that the cars and trucks that needed to be rewashed were stuck at the end of the line since they couldn't get around the vehicles that were waiting. No one knew where the checker-in guy went and there were multiple calls over the loud speaker for him. He finally appeared. Apparently someone had some chicken wings and everyone had taken a break to enjoy them. That's also why there was a pile up in the wash tunnel. The drivers were eating chicken wings.

Back to the cashier. She called her boyfriend back and expertly cussed him out (in the presence of the entire waiting area) and told him that she would be there soon. Then she slammed the phone down. There were more complaints about the cars being covered in soap and one man wanted to see the manager. And then it all came out. The manager didn't show up that day. He apparently called in sick.

The whole place was going to hell and everyone was eating chicken wings. The phone was ringing off the hook while the cashier took yet another cigarette break and the checker-in dude apparently had gone AWOL again.

This would normally drive me nuts but it was such a train wreck I had to sit back and enjoy it. My truck was at the front end of the problems so it was being dried and detailed while the rest of the craziness was going on around me.

They finally called me and I reluctantly went out to my truck. The whole place was going to hell and I thoroughly enjoyed the show even if it did take longer than usual to get my truck washed.

The next time I'm in Charleston I'll most likely go back to that car wash just in the off chance the manager calls in sick again.

We're in Dade City, Florida now. The weather is warm during the day and down to the 50s at night. Charlie and Gracie are both settled into their new routine. There seem to be a lot of cats around. Our next door neighbor is feeding them and it's driving Charlotte nuts when she spies them on the picnic table.

I'm having surgery in March to repair and old car accident injury. The surgery has to be done in two steps 4 weeks apart so we'll be here for a couple of months at least. Not sure how that will impact our trip to Key West. Maybe after the second surgery we'll go sit in the sun for a while.

Breaking News…

I wrote my last blog post the night before we were leaving Bull Run and headed south. A lot happened on our trip to Mount Pleasant so I'm doing this update on our progress from Virginia to Florida.

On Tuesday morning I woke up at 7:30 AM (very early for me) and noticed that it seemed to be unusually light outside. I peeked through the blinds next to the bed and saw what I've been asking for--snow! Five inches of soft, fluffy snow. The weather report the night before said that there was a chance of snow for Tuesday but that if it did (and it was a big if) there would only be an inch or less. Well, we had five inches at 7:30 AM and it was still snowing.

Even though we had done some of the work needed to get us on the road by 11:00 AM or so the snow whipped us into high-gear (after having coffee). First thing you'll learn about traveling with dogs is they come first and if they don't you're going to have a problem. We got Charlotte and Gracie up and out the door into the snow knowing that the novelty of snow wouldn't be lost on them and that it might take a little longer to get around to business than it usually does. They did not disappoint. Gracie looked around at the snow and decided to dig a hole. I guess she was wondering what happened to all of the sticks, leaves and dirt she usually has to play with. After tugging her around for a while trying to get her to finish her morning rituals we got her back into the trailer. Charlotte wasn't much better. She loved the snow and was running back and forth, spinning and slipping, and having a good time. It took her a few minutes to get down to business. Once they were taken care of we went about the process of getting the truck and trailer cleaned off so we could hook everything up and get on the road before much more snow fell. Getting ready took a little more time than usual. Everything was cold and doing things with gloves on slowed us down but we got hooked up and were soon on our way. We also broke part of the trailer hitch in the process of getting things hooked up--more on that later.

The Bull Run Park guys had already been through the park clearing the roads so once we got out of our spot we had good roads in the park. Regardless I had the 4WD engaged and we chugged right along up the hill to the entrance of the park. Of course when we got to the park entrance the road hadn't been plowed or even really driven on so the 4WD became a necessity. We hauled Mabel Rubain up the hill, slipping and sliding a little, to the main highway which was totally packed with morning commuters, none who wanted to let a travel trailer get in front of them on a snowy highway. It took a bit but someone finally took notice and let us in.

Remember that part of the trailer we broke? Well, part of it was hanging too low for safe clearance on the highway so we had to get it fixed before we could go too much further. Everyone at Bull Run told us that if we had any problems, questions or needed anything RV associated to call Restless Wheels. This is now going to sound like a Restless Wheels promotional piece but these guys really came through for us. We got there and within 30 minutes they had the part replaced with a used one and were only charged for the labor to put it on. Here we were in the middle of a big unexpected snowstorm with a broken RV and a 6 hour trip down south ahead of us and these guys totally made it as simple as they could. Thank you Restless Wheels in Centreville, VA. They certainly lived up to their reputation. I plan on doing something I rarely do and that is give them a great rating on YELP.

With our trailer fixed and still in the midst of the unexpected snowstorm we got back on the highway and headed towards I-95 south, then over to I-85 south and finally into Charlotte. It took us about 12 hours to get from Bull Run Regional Park to the KOA in Fort Mill, SC.

The KOA was a welcome sight for all of us. Matt and I were both tired from the day's events and the dogs were tired of being cooped up in the truck all day. Finding the KOA was pretty easy as they have giant yellow KOA signs on the road. We pulled into the parking lot and it appeared that the office was closed. It said on the website that they were open until 11:00 PM and it was just a little past 9:00 PM. The sign on the door of the KOA directed us the gas station next door to check in after hours. Apparently the KOA, gas station and a little bar were all owned by the same family and housed in the same building. Registration was quick and we paid for a pull through site so we could avoid having to back into a site late in the evening. The pull though wasn't exactly what we expected. We were at the top of a hill on uneven ground and ended up jockeying back and forth to try and get as level as possible. After a couple of attempts we decided to let it go and packed it in for the night.

The next morning we were up fairly early and headed 45 minutes back up I-85 to Kannapolis, NC to see my mother. She took a bad fall about a month ago and fractured her neck. She was sent to a rehab facility and will hopefully get to move back to assisted living soon. The rehab hospital is small and cars are parked all over the campus on the grass, up on curbs, on the side of hills and just about everywhere else you could park a vehicle. We pulled in assuming that delivery trucks must deliver equipment and supplies to the facility and so the driveway on the side of the rehab facility must logically go all the way around. With that in mind we found a spot where we could pull the truck and trailer off to the side of the road and still leave plenty of room for people to get around us. That was not a very smooth move but I wouldn't know that until after visiting with Mom. When we got back out to the truck we did what we should have done first and looked to see if the road actually went completely around the facility. Imagine our disappointment (and sinking feeling) when we discovered that the road was a dead end and the only thing back there was a loading area and two dumpsters and, of course, more cars parked in every conceivable spot.

We thought we had a plan and could back the trailer into an empty spot near where we were parked and turn around that way but after 30 minutes of back and forth we realized that we were stuck. We were attracting a fair sized audience and causing some problems for staff that were trying to park and get into work. One of the staff members watching us came out and told s there was a truck turnaround behind the facility that we could use. Thinking that we'd be good as gold we drove further down the road into the facility to find that with the length of our vehicle and the fact that there were cars parked in every little slot that could be parked in we weren't getting out that way either.

That left one option--backing out. It turns out that one of our audience members was the head of maintenance. Rather than just stand and watch he came out to lend a hand. He told us that even experienced truck drivers can't get turned around back there and sometimes have to back all the way out. So that's what we ended up doing. We backed all the way around the building and out to the front entrance. From the time we started trying to get out of the rehab facility to the time we actually waved goodbye was an hour. That was one long hour.

Safely on the road again we headed back down I-85 and onto I-77 and finally onto I-26 and onto Mount Pleasant where we checked into the KOA at about 7:00 PM. We were tired, the dogs were tired and everyone was hungry. We got the dogs situated watered and fed and headed out to have a late dinner with our friends Mina and Sarah. What a day! What a trip!

This morning we woke up to no water. It got down to 20 degrees last night so we guessed that the hose had frozen and didn't think too much of it. When I took Charlotte out I realized it might not have just been frozen water hoses. There were multiple geysers throughout the park including our site. The overnight temps had caused some broken pipes which were spraying water into really cool ice sculptures. We had doctor's appointments today so by the time we were back the water issue was fixed.

Here's what we've learned. Restless Wheels lives up to their reputation. That is really uncommon these days. Always make sure you can get out of any place you can get into. I knew this in my head since it's just plain simple common sense but now I have a life lesson to enjoy with it. Gracie will pee in the trailer if you don't take her out as soon as she wakes up. She also has added digging holes to her list of activities she enjoys.

That's the update. We're in Mt. Pleasant for the next couple of days and then we're headed down to the Tampa area to warm up.

Til We Meet Again

We've been here at Bull Run in a camp host position since mid-September. It has been a great experience. The hosts were terrific, would help at the drop of a hat if you needed it, and on top of that were totally accepting of the fact that I have a non-traditional lifestyle (although it appears to be getting more traditional). We got to visit with my Aunt Dee and spent many Friday nights watching old movies and trying to remember who the actors were and what else they had done. We had a blast doing that and got to watch some very good movies. I would sometimes look up the movie on my iPhone to figure out some actor we were watching. After a while she wold ask me to look up an actor on my little computer. Always the technology maven. She usually has some little tidbit of information about my early life or some scandalous family history but not this time. She is the one who showed me a picture of my genetic father and spilled the beans that my great grandmother was an American Indian I don't know whether she's told me all she knows or there's some secrets yet to be revealed! I guess I'll have to wait.

My father's passing anniversary was on January 3rd. That was a little tough since he's only been gone for two years now. I try and have happy thoughts about him rather than feel sad. He was a remarkable man, a great father and that man had some serious math skills. When we would go to the neurologist he knew there's be a mental acuity test so on our way into the office he'd practice so he knew the date, who was president, where he lived, and what his children's names were. Most of the time they weren't hard questions he'd pass them with flying colors. Sometimes, just to let him show off a little, I'd ask him what the square root of 12 was and he'd spit it out like a calculator. That alway impressed the neurologist and I think made Dad feel a little less sick. He would love this adventure we're on.

It looks like our last night at Bull Run will be a cold one. We've got both heaters going and it's nice and cozy here in Mabel Rubain. We're headed to Charlotte tomorrow (Tuesday the 6th) to check on my mother and then to Charleston to see some friends and get in to see our doctors. This is one thing we haven't quite worked out. Our doctors want to see us periodically before renewing our prescriptions so we have to make sure we get by Charleston every 6 months or so. It's not a huge problem night now but if we decide to make a trip out West it could be a problem. So far our physicians have been good about calling in prescriptions for us wherever we are but we don't want to get to a point where we run out of something and need to see some random doctor to get a refill. They all know about our travel plans and are working with us. We are lucky to have some very good doctors. I had some work to do tonight so Matt is doing a some travel prep. Getting things properly stowed and ready to pull out in the morning. He just poured laundry detergent into the toilet and told me all the shaking as we go down the road would clean it out. I see a huge mess when we get to a park with a sewer connection. Can you imagine the bubbles coming from our sewer line as we empty our tanks. Reminds me of an I Love Lucy show. We'll see if it works. I'm skeptical. 

The weather for our trip out of here is supposed to be a wintery mix. Lovely to drive in but even better to tow a trailer in. We thought we were getting out of the cold when we head south but the cold front that is parked on the East coast is going to have nighttime temperatures in the teens in Charlotte where we stay first. We've gotten pretty good at cold weather camping. The water lines have frozen tonight so we'll have to deal with that in the morning but were warm. That's what counts. Tomorrow we drive from Bull Run to a KOA park in Fort Mill, SC. The mapping software says our travel time is 6 hours but since we're towing the trailer it will be more like 8 or 9. Charlotte and Gracie will need frequent stops to get out and stretch. They both are pretty good in the car. Charlotte sleeps in Matt's lap the whole way and Gracie finds some impossible corner to get herself wedged into for the duration. At one point, on the way up here, she was so out of it I was afraid she had died. She hadn't moved in hours--but no, she was just sound asleep. Gracie basically has three modes eat, sleep, and poop. Anything outside of those activities she doesn't like. She'd getting really fat and I know that Dr. Benton, our vet, is going to mention it. She's on phenobarbital for a seizure disorder and that is known to cause weight gain but she's really way too fat. We could all three spend a little more time on walks. 

Time to get out of the cold and back down to warmer weather. We plan on finally arriving in Dade City by the 14th or so and we'll be there for a couple of months. No camp host duties there so I can focus on work some more. I didn't say goodbye to the friends I've made in the park but told them that we hope we'd see them in another park along the way. So 'Til We Meet Again…

Lessons Learned

We've finally discovered how to stay warm in the trailer. This may seem to be a little late to the game but at least we figured it out. We have a little electric IR heater that will keep the trailer warm down to about 40 degrees. After that it struggles and the inside temperature begins to drop. Since you can only wear so much clothing before you have problems moving around our tiny house it becomes necessary to introduce some additional heat to the situation. That's where the gas fired furnace comes in. We set that at about 65 degrees and then turn on the IR heater. When the IR heater can't keep up the furnace kicks in and brings the temp back up to a point where the IR heater can keep it warm for a while. Running the furnace alone burns through a lot of gas in a really short time. It's not a very efficient furnace. When you're outside and the furnace is running it sounds like a jet engine and it is spewing hot  exhaust. But we've figured it out and things are nice and toasty in Mable Rubain.

It's cold out tonight. Our local weather station says it's 34 and the "feels like" temperature is 26 but it feels a lot colder here in the park. The furnace has been cycling on and off most of the evening and our heat strategy seems to be working! Matt just came in after taking Gracie out and said he thinks it may be snowing. I love that. It snowed just before Thanksgiving and we had about half an inch that hung around until the next day. I loved that and hope that we'll get a little more snow. Nothing dramatic that will have the furnace on day and night but enough to make the Festival of Lights here at the park even more beautiful.

I work in the woodpile this week. Yes, again. I seem to get it more often that anyone else. Maybe if I screw it up they'll let me slide until January when we head down south. One of the splitters froze up because someone ran it without oil in it (not me, I had other duties that week) but whoever it was didn't say anything. I was the one who discovered it and I got the stink-eye from maintenance but no one actually said anything. Hey––it wasn't me. I promise. This week Santa's Village is open and one of the events there is to make s'mores and drink hot chocolate. That means that I have to haul split wood up to Santa's Village several times per day on Wednesday through Sunday. I don't mind splitting the wood. I just don't like moving it around.

The good thing about working in the wood pit is that those weeks are weeks where I lose a lot of weight. Since arriving here in September I've lost about 2 lbs. per week. Not bad for not really trying. Walking the dogs, walking around to my jobs and not eating like a horse seems to be the magical combination. It's the simplest formula, total calories in need to be less than total calories out. Lesson learned here is that you'll lose with that combination (and working in the woodpile).

We do have one luxury that we just have to have––wash and fold service for our laundry. If we do it ourselves at the laundromat we spend about $18 and it takes about 2 hours from wash to dry and then fold. We found a nice little laundry over in Manassas that will do a weeks worth of laundry for between $20 and $25. Even better they'll get it back to us the same day. Another lesson learned.

I managed to burst a tire on the truck. I think it was a defect in the tire. I pulled up onto the road and there was a bit of a gap between the road and the ground I was on. When I pulled up the tire burst. It was about 10:00 PM so I pulled it over to the side of the road and left it until morning when there was more light. I called Good Sam roadside service and was very surprised when the guy showed up in about 30 minutes. He even knew how to get the tire from under the truck, where the jack was in the back of the truck and he put everything back in place after changing the tire in very short order. This was a dramatic departure from my experience with AAA. They routinely quote at least an hour and then show up anywhere from an hour and a half to 2 hours later. Other than having a busted tire the whole experience was quite refreshing.

We head south on January 4th. We'll stop in Charlotte to see my mother and then head to Charleston for doctor's appointments and to see friends. After that we'll go to Dade City to stay out of he cold and visit Matt's mother. After that who knows. We, by in large, worked out all of the kinks in working while on the road so where we go is up to us. I'd like a trip to Key West at some point so I can go snorkeling. Sitting here in the cold make that sound so warm and inviting. That means we'll be here for Christmas and New Years baring any emergencies that call us back south sooner.

Time to take a look outside and see if it's snowing yet. Let's hope.

Baby It's Cold Outside

As I write this it is 25 degrees outside and falling. The low in the park is predicted to be about 23. So much for easing into fall. Our little space heater is struggling to keep the temperature at 68 degrees and I am sure it will struggle even more when it hits 23 outside. We're dressed for the cold and already sitting in bed which for now is the warmest place around. I've got the heating pad on my ankle so I'm relatively warm. The heater we have is rated to 1200 square feet. We're only 308 (by my calculation) so the heater should be able to handle this weather with no problem. It's not. Matt says it's probably because we have no insulation in the walls. Could be. He's been putting shrink wrap on the windows and ceiling vents which seems to help. You can feel the cold radiating from the windows when you get close. Not good. We'll have to supplement the space heater with the gas furnace. That will keep us warmer.

Showering at this temperature can be tricky. There are 5 shower rooms that open directly to the outside of the bath house. They aren't heated so when you first go into the shower it's freezing. You can heat it up a little by running the hot water for a while before you get undressed. Once you're done you have to put on a lot of clothes for the walk back to the trailer. Not going to be fun doing that each day when it's 25 outside. It's all part of the adventure.

Things here at the campground are pretty quiet. The cold weather has eliminated most of the tent campers and the only campers left are in RVs. Our water hose is frozen so we're using water in the fresh water tank. It's located inside the trailer's shell so it doesn't freeze. We have about 3 days worth of water left so we need the temperatures to go up for a while. I'm not sure that's going to be the case. The weather reports are calling for possible show showers on Thursday. That will be fun.

My job last week was to clean the bath house. On Sundays one of the tasks is to disinfect the bath house with a spray on disinfectant/cleaner. You basically spray down everything, scrub, and then rinse with water. It takes about three hours to do the entire bath house. Sunday night when I was just about to start on the ladies room (which as usual was a total and complete mess) someone stepped out of the dark and asked if it was ok to use the rest room. In the dark, and not being able to hear well, I thought it was a man and I said the men's room was done but to be careful that the floor was wet. It turns out it was a woman. I was so embarrassed. In my defense she was dressed like a man, her voice gravelly from smoking, and it was dark. It reminded me of my time in the laboratory when I would assume big women were going to have babies and ask them if they knew what they were having. After making several mistakes I learned to keep my mouth shut and just draw the blood.

The Festival of Lights is scheduled to start on Thursday night. We've only seen parts of the display so on Thursday we'll get to see the entire show. I worked on some of the displays so I'm curious to see how they turned out. The festival runs to January 4th. One of our challenges is getting in and out of the park during the light show. Hosts who have been here through the light show tell us it's almost impossible to get in and out during the show since the roads all become one-way. To get out of the park you have to follow the light show crowd though the park and out the back entrance. To get back in the park you have to cut through the soccer fields and down a dirt road to get to the campground and miss the line of cars. This is going to be inconvenient to say the least. Driving up to the soccer fields in the snow will require 4WD which would be kind of fun, so there's that.

I'm taking Aunt Dee to see the lights on Friday. She is very excited. She had me write it on her calendar and has called me at least once to make sure we were still going. We're going to see the lights and go to dinner. A big outing for her.

Today was an interesting day for the state of South Carolina. The Fourth District Court of Appeals denied the state's request for an emergency stay to prevent marriage equality in the state. The court also said the state had to recognize marriages performed in other states. This is a very bad day for Nicki Haley and our buffoonish Attorney General Alan Wilson. Both of them essentially wasted the states money fighting a losing battle. I have a hard time believing that their fight was anything but a show to ingratiate themselves to the conservative evangelical right and to further their political careers. In this they have won. This wasn't about the right to marry, this was about politics. I'm happy for my friends who are in SC. They can get married now and those that are married are officially recognized. I'm also proud of my church, the Unitarian Church in Charleston, for actively participating in the fight and for openly welcoming those in search of a wedding venue in a place where they can make that forever commitment.

My friend Sarah Familar-Ragsdale is planning on marrying people on Friday, November 21st 2014 at Washington Square Park. If you'd like her to officiate your wedding you can contact her at Sarah@LiveTheElements.com, or 843-729-3635. If you like to keep up with her in real-time like Elemental Weddings - Wedding Officiant on Facebook or on Twitter at Live The Elements. If something happens and they have to move they'll update Facebook and tweet their location. When you get to the park you'll see their sign. Best of all they are doing this as a give-back to our community so it's free!

Time to snuggle under the covers and watch a movie. Baby It's Cold Outside!

Todd

Seventeen Years and Counting

Matt and I have been together now for 17 years (actually 17 years in February, 2015.) It's been so long I have a hard time sometimes remembering what it was like when we weren't together. We've weathered a lot of storms together some that would have torn a lot of couples apart. This is not to say we're the perfect couple. We both have quirks that drive the other nuts but these things are quickly put aside and harmony returns. Matt has been decorating the trailer with pictures. One of them is a graphic that says "Home is wherever I am with you." My sentiments exactly.

Matt has an agent interested in his book (The Wide Night Sky) and she's requested some changes. This is a major step in getting his book published. We're both excited but cautiously so. He's working on the changes and hopefully the agent will be happy and they'll go onto the next step. I tease that when he's writing I become a writers widower. He likes to be alone when he writes. I can understand that. Peace and quiet—except for the fact he likes to work in places like Barnes & Noble or Panera. Hardly solitude. I seems to work for him so what can I say?

One of the camp hosts here has been on the road with her husband for the past 7 months in a big diesel pusher (think of it as a big bus.) I got to got to know her when we were making smores with the children at the campground's Halloween festival. She commented on how she was looking for ways to get away from her husband and have a little alone time. She couldn't imagine that Matt and I could be together in a 28 foot travel trailer (along with two dogs) for any length of time. We've been on the road for 5 months and so far we're good. It is a little crowded in the trailer and I think a bigger rig would make things easier but right now we're happy with what we have. We do perform the getting dressed ballet that each day when both of us are trying to get ready. The bedroom is pretty much all bed (no slide out there) so getting to our closets takes a little bit of taking turns and getting out of the way. But we manage. Sometimes the best thing to do is go sit on the couch and wait for the other to get done. Same goes for the kitchen. Only one person at a time in there. I see an upgrade in our future but for now we're here in Mabel Rubain and are happy. The semi plan right now is to get a new truck and maybe, after a while, invest in a 5th wheel trailer. There are several in the park here that look like they're set up for full-timing.

Matt has an obsession with small boxes which is good. Everything now has a nice neat place and the trailer is finally well organized. We're set up so well that hitting the road will be really simple. Not much packing (or unpacking for that matter). That is a full-timers dream. Get up, hook up and go.

We're planning on staying until the first week in January. I've been talking to the other camp hosts who have been here over the winter and they said it can get cold in the rig if you don't have a good heater. We have a nice infrared heater that keeps the trailer nice and warm as well as a gas fired furnace. My concern is the sewer and water pipes freezing. That would be pretty bad. The park has been out installing heating wrappers on all of the fresh water faucets in the campground. We'll need to add those to our bag of full-timer tricks. We'll have to wrap our hoses with heater wraps or we'll run into problems.

My job this week has been to clean the camp store at night when the store is closed and the only other person there is the night ranger. It's a pretty simple job. Dusting, sweeping, and mopping. It does't take long and I can do it at night which is really when I want to work.

My Friday night pizza and a movie with my Aunt Dee continues. We get a pizza and watch old movies together. We love to try and identify the actors that we see. She's pretty good with it. Some of the actors are a mystery to me so I end up looking them up on IMDB (Internet Movie DataBase) when we can't figure them out. It's a fun way to hang out with her for a couple of hours. We usually watch Turner Classic Movies. She really likes that.

We still haven't had our inaugural Hamburger-Helper Lasagna yet. Maybe this weekend I'll get around to doing that. Love some hamburger helper! I don't know why. I've had a hankering for some good chili in the crock pot too. Looks like we're going to finally fire up the stove. Hamburger-Helper here we come!

Come On Get Happy

I just heard that song on iTunes and thought it described my feelings about the house closing. Yes! We closed on October 15th and we are now officially houseless and are loving it. No longer dealing with a monthly mortgage, crazy insurance people, pest exterminators, constant maintenance, and the task of mowing 5 acres every week throughout the spring, summer, and fall. We never really grew attached to this house the way we did the house in Los Gatos but we did have some great memories. My favorite were when Mom and Dad lived with us and when we had the big family reunions. We could sleep 10 people and during the reunions we had every bed filled. It was nice to have family together like that.

I've been working pretty hard in the park these last couple of weeks. I helped a host cut, split and stack wood. For those of you counting that was my 4th week working in the wood pit. I think next week I'm going to gracefully bow out of the wood pit for a while. Even in the cool weather you'll break a sweat stacking and hauling wood over to the wood shed. The good news is that it's great exercise and I imagine has been partly the reason for my recent weight loss.

The park has a Festival of Lights every year a week before Thanksgiving to the weekend after New Years. Starting in October crews put up light displays all over the park. Some are animated and others are just static lights. It looks like it's going to be beautiful. I hope we get some snow during the event. It will make everything that much more beautiful. The only downside is that we are pretty much stuck in the park the entire time the lights are on (4:30 PM or so until 10:30 PM) because the lines to get into the park and see the show are long. There is a secret entrance from the back of the park, through the soccer fields and down a dirt road that we can use -- if we can figure it out. I'm going to put the truck into 4WD and see what I can find. Should be some fun off roading at the very least.

I went over to stay with my favorite aunt last weekend. Her son and daugher-in-law needed to be out of town and didn't want her to be alone at night. We always have a great time together. It breaks my heart to see her losing her ability to get around. The body may be failing but she's sharp as a tack. She entertained me with stories about being a model in New York, being one of the women who smashed though the glass ceiling in her profession and how she did all of that while being a single mother raising two boys. She is an amazing woman. She also can't cook. While I was there she made a little snack for us before we had dinner. The snack was spinach ravioli that was microwaved so much the edges were hard and cold tomato soup to go on it. For all of her talents and know-how she has never been able to master cooking. I cooked dinner for us that night in self defense. I've always described her as a cross between Lucille Ball and Auntie Mame. That is not totally fair since I think she's a lot smarter than either of those characters but sometimes she is just like them. She really makes me laugh.

I've made good friends with the other hosts. We're a tight knit bunch - always ready to lend a hand to another host (that's how I end up in the wood pit so often). Since getting married I mostly refer to Matt as my husband and I have done so here with the other hosts. There is a lesbian couple here too who are also married. Even though most of the hosts are my age or older our acceptance has been complete. They refer to Matt as my husband too. The lesbian couple had an anniversary a couple of weeks ago and some the hosts decorated their campsite for the occasion. That's what I call acceptance. These are totally cool people.

The trees here are turning colors at an rapid pace. When it's sunny (like today) the forest we live in is full of colors. Due to my color blindness I can mostly see the yellows and sometimes the reds if they are solidly red and not too close to being brown. Every now and then I'l see an orange but I don't know if I'm really seeing orange or it's some other color that appears orange to me. In any case I have my own little world of colors that I am quite happy with. As an aside, most people with brown hair appear to have forest green hair to me. I know that people don't have forest green hair in the world of normal color vision so I call it brown. But it's forest green to me.

People have been asking what exactly do I do here at the camp to get our free site in the forest. I do a lot of things. As you all know I cut and stack wood, I keep the bathhouses clean, I police the campground and clean the cabins. It's a lot of manual labor and rather mindless. It keeps me outside a lot and I like that. Most of the time I put in my ear buds and listen to some good music while I work.

You may be wondering why would I give up my consulting practice and resort to being a camp host. To be clear I haven't given up my consulting practice. I have time during the day between my daily responsibilities when I work on Ocius business. I've written an article and have another I'm working that I hope will be published. I have an international client whose working time is about 8:00 PM my time so I can work with them in the evening and not interfere with my day job. Mostly I do this so we can be here in Northern Virginia close to my aunt for three months with a housing cost of zero. If I wasn't a camp host the fee for this wonderful spot in the forest with free electric would be $50/night. In addition to that I like the idea of being unplugged from the rat race for a bit. At the end of the day I walk back to the trailer, have dinner and don't think or worry about work for the most part. I have a lot of friends here who are doing the same thing -- unplugging for a bit. Taking a break. Reflecting on what comes next. I'm 56, my life is more than half over. Time to look at priorities.

Almost There

We got the notice yesterday that the closing on the sale our house would be today at 2:00 PM. We were ecstatic since we really thought the house would be taken before we could sell it but we prevailed with the expert assistance of our real estate agent Joseph Herrera. He really kept us motivated and confident that we could sell regardless of the issues we had in the house. If you need a real estate agent then you can't do better than Joseph. We owe him a debt of gratitude. If you are looking to buy or sell in the Charleston metro area call him. He's professional, hard working and knowledgeable. Unfortunately we woke up to an email delaying the closing until next week due to a paperwork snafu by Wells Fargo Bank. Hurry up and wait.

Life here at Bull Run has turned into a nice routine for my dear husband and me. We're parked in a  forest which, when the shooting range (the park has a shooting range) isn't active, is very quiet and peaceful. We are under the flight path to Dulles so we do hear jets but if you know me you'll know that I don't mind that at all. When I'm out in the park working I love to see the variety of jets that are headed into Dulles. It's one of my things.

This has been my week cutting, stacking and transporting wood. Not my favorite thing to do, especially in the rain. At the end of the day we usually run some errands, grab a bite to eat, come home, and walk the dogs. Then it's an evening of reading and music or sometimes a movie on iTunes. I also have time to write -- like now. I'm just now finishing an article that I'm writing about a very esoteric process in healthcare information technology. It's off to my editor soon (Matt) and then hopefully to a trade journal or industry magazine.

We haven't had a TV since starting this adventure. We initially thought we'd have DirecTV in the trailer but we procrastinated and found out that we really weren't missing much so it never materialized. We were watching a lot of TV when we had it home. Now I get my news online from several different news sources so I scratch that news itch every day. I have to admit that I'm not missing TV for the most part. The shows that I do want to see are available on iTunes or streaming on PBS.org so I'm not missing much.

Our plan for using cellular modems for our Internet service hasn't worked out as well as we would have liked. We learned early on that streaming a TV show or two really ate up our allotment of gigabytes. We have two accounts now that we try and balance throughout the month. We need a better solution than what AT&T and Verizon offer. That's a work in progress.

Fall is bringing us cooler weather and rain and I'm loving it (as is Matt). We've already had a night were we had to fire up the furnace--which thankfully ran right off the bat without any need for adjustments. When it's running it sounds like a jet engine outside at the outlet port. We use propane fuel and the heater goes through it pretty quickly. I have a feeling we're going to be wearing warmer clothes in side to preserve our fuel. Nothing to drastic though.

As you know I work here at the park to pay for our site. I have to work 60 hours per month. We have rotating assignments each week. Last week I was on bath house duty. This week I'm working in the wood pile. It's a dramatic departure from what my career has been in the last 30 years. I'm joined by other senior executives and successful business people that are here in a variety of mobile-home based vehicles. We all live on the same street in the campground and I've made some friends who like me have escaped the 9-5 grind and are slowing down to enjoy their lives a little more. It's funny to be working alongside a former CEO cleaning the bath house or working in the wood pile with someone who ran a successful real estate business for 20 years. It's interesting that we don't introduce ourselves as a former CEO or real estate broker. We talk more about our lives outside of work, what brought us to this lifestyle and certainly little tips on how to made our jobs more efficient. It's fun and on top of it all I'm losing weight from all of the physical labor involved with my jobs. I guess the best part is interacting with the park visitors. I miss those customer service days that I had so much of early in my career.

Charlotte and Gracie are also into the grove. Charlotte is barking less at anyone or any vehicle that passes our trailer. That is a good thing. Gracie sleeps, eats and randomly barks. Last night she was standing at the food bowls barking because one of them was empty. She'll bark at the water bowl if it isn't full enough for her tastes. They are happiest when we're all here in the trailer and they can sleep next to us while we do our work.

The food here in Northern VA has been amazing. It's like an international smorgasbord. We've had Latin American food, Korean barbecue, Mexican food, good old American diner food and Indian food. We're planning on finding a Dim Sum restaurant soon. I'd also like to try some Spanish food too. The world is represented here and the restaurants reflect that. The only problem we have is deciding what cuisine we are going to try next.

I've managed to see my favorite aunt in the world several times since we've parked here in Northern VA. She was a very important person to me when I was a kid and has remained important to me all my life. Her health is failing but she's hanging in there. I'm glad we're close and can see her often. I've promised her that I'd make chicken and dumplings for her while I was here. It's my mother's recipe which I think was handed down to her by her mother. The dumplings are the size of an egg. Now that's what I call a dumpling--none of those noodled type of dumplings for me. I want those soft light big dumplings cooked in chicken broth.

I hope by the time I write again the sale of our house will have closed. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Up North

We're at Bull Run Regional Park just outside of Washington, DC. We got here on Monday and we'll be calling this home for the next three months. I'm working as a camp host part time so our stay here is in exchange for my work. While here Matt will continue with working from "home" and I'll continue to handle my informatics business. All in all it feels good to be settled for a little while. We've had a chance to look around some and I think we're going to like it here.

We left the 95 degree days behind at the Sawmill. We also left the noise, drag shows, disco lights, pool parties and the occasional half clothed man behind too. Our time at the Sawmill was certainly interesting. We love the area. It's close enough to Matt's parents (who thankfully never wanted to visit the trailer) so that we don't feel obligated to see them every day but close enough that we saw them quite often. I think that has actually been good for Matt.

The trip from the Sawmill to Charleston took about 9 hours. This is interesting: Every park we stay in the check out time is 11:00 AM the day of departure except the Sawmill. Its departure time is noon, with a very generous late check out policy if you need it. In fact, if you are so inclined, they'll let you stay until 7:00 PM for a mere $10. They certainly are meeting the needs of their clientele and know the party boys aren't going to get up to get packed up and out of there before noon so they go with the flow and usually make an extra $10 bucks from their customers for not a lot of work.

After lifting Gracie into the truck we were off. Gracie does two things really well. She eats and sleeps. Sometimes she'll play but most of the time she's snacking or has made herself a bed and is asleep. She's on phenobarbital for a seizure disorder and I think that is partially why she is so much like a slug. If possible she has also gotten fatter. We try and limit her food and take her on multiple walks per day but it just doesn't seem to matter with Gracie. The good thing is she isn't seizing anymore. Gracie has this annoying habit of jumping at the cars she sees driving down the opposite side of the road and snapping at the air. I am sure she sees the motion and is just trying to catch whatever it is that she can't see but it is incredibly distracting when she is right behind you smacking against the window. I am afraid her little brain will fall out if she doesn't stop doing that.

Nine hours is about all we can handle in one day. When we got to Charleston we were all tired and ready to stop for the night. We didn't arrive during normal park hours so we had to contact the night ranger to be let in. This apparently is not supposed to be a problem according to the campground reservationists but when we talked to the ranger he seemed to be amazed that anyone would be checking in that late. When he finally opened the gate for us and met us at the campground he apparently miraculously remembered that people do in fact some in late and found our paperwork. We did a quick detach put down the stabilizers, hooked up the power and water and called it a night.

We had a nice visit with some friends, visited one of our favorite restaurants and got our winter clothing out of storage. We hit the road on Sunday headed to a KOA (Kampgrounds of America) in Enfield, NC which is just outside of Rocky Mount, NC. It took almost 10 hours go get to Enfield and by the time we arrived we were bushed. Just as an aside Gracie slept through the entire trip. At one point I got worried about her and asked Matt to make sure she was breathing. I guess Gracie has discovered the best way to while away the time on a long trip.

Charlotte, on the other hand, stays awake the entire trip. She lays on Matt's lap the entire time. When it's really hot that can be an unpleasant place for her to be but she needs to be right up there in the middle of the action in case anyone needs a Jack Russell Terrier. If they do, she's ready. I hate to tell her that almost no one needs a Jack Russell Terrier on a moments notice.

We don't feed them on travel days until we get to the campground. That has, to this point, eliminated car sickness. This also means that Gracie is not in the mood for doing a lot of walking around. She's ready for dinner when we stop.

We noticed that the campground was for sale as soon as we arrived. The place was spotless, well groomed but our guess not in a place where a lot of people go for vacations. The staff were efficient but not at all friendly or unfriendly. We did a rapid unhook (unlock the hitch and pull it of the truck), hooked up the power and took the dogs our for a much needed walk. We got the feeling that the owners were desperate to get out of this campground business. Part of this came from the signs all over the park about what you can and can't do. The notice about the Internet connection was the best of them all. They use a satellite Internet service so there are bandwidth limits, problems with weather and apparently periodic problems with the hardware. The notice on the park's log in screen listed all of these problems and ended with a curt we aren't responsible for the operation of the Internet notice. We weren't there long enough to really need to do anything we couldn't do with our phones so it didn't bother us at all. Quiet desperation was the feeling I got there.

The park at Bull Run is nice and quiet. Matt likes that. It's getting to be the off season so the park isn't very full. On Tuesday we took the Metro down to DC for some time at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. It's one of my favorites. It wasn't very crowded and we got to go into the butterfly room. It's a heat and humidity controlled room filled with grow lights and tons of butterflies. It is quite beautiful and we had a great time watching them fly about. I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time at the museums over the next three months.

On Tuesday we found a place called Wegman's Grocery Store. Think of it as a Whole Foods combined with a Costco and a couple of restaurants thrown in for a good mix. This place is amazing. They have 4 long steam tables with all kinds of prepared food, a long salad bar, a huge cheese bar (Matt loved that) and all of the stuff you'd find in a regular grocery store too. The place was massive and has become our destination for all food shopping now.

Today (Wednesday) was laundry day - my most hated day. We can go about two weeks if we're good before we must do laundry. We were at that point today when I packed it all up and drive over to a local laundromat called Hailey's. It isn't owned by Hailey anymore. It belongs to Aleia who bought it from Hailey. Aleia is from Mexico and speaks some english. She likes to talk to customers so she can improve her english so she is very outgoing and friendly. While I washed my clothes I found out all kinds of good stuff about the laundromat and the people who come in. Aleia is also quite a gossip. I loved it. The only down fall of the whole thing is that they have Telemundo soap operas playing really loudly. Aleia told me she thinks they are stupid but watches them anyway. I like Hailey's because they have big washers and big dryers. One load of dark/colors, one load of whites, one big ass dryer and I'm done with laundry in an hour. It was funny to see what people were wearing to get their laundry done. You could tell who was actually desperate and who was just getting a chore done. The guy next to me was dressed in his biking gear and had 4 washers going. He was desperate.

It's raining tonight and I love it. I've got the window next to my side of the bed open and I can hear the rain. When it rains a little harder you can hear it on the trailer too. Very relaxing and cozy. Gracie has scrunched up a little rug that we keep at the front door into a little pile and is sleeping on it. It doesn't look comfortable but she is really out of it. Charlie is asleep on my pillow (and growls every time I move) and Mattie is playing solitaire. All in all a nice relaxing night.

Trailer Life

Several of you have wanted to see pictures of our long-long trailer and how we live our day-to-day lives in a very small space. Let me first say that Matt and I rarely argue. We may become snippy but we're both somewhat laid back and respectful of each other that we can live in close proximity and not drive each other nuts. I have to admit that would not have been the case with any previous relationship I've had. The biggest space challenge is when we're both getting dressed to go out. Since our clothes are at opposite ends of our sleeping space we have to take turns getting dressed. Not a big deal but a little different than what most people go through on a daily basis with their spouse. Our biggest challenge so far has been where to store all of our stuff. It's amazing how many "junk drawers" you actually have until you move. We currently have a bin of junk drawer stuff without a home here on Mabel Rubain. We're working on a solution but it will take some time.

This is a picture of our little kitchen. It's small and we haven't really cooked in it yet but it's workable. We usually have an inaugural dinner of Hamburger Helper Lasagna when we are camping but we haven't done that yet. I really ramped down the kitchen stuff when we moved into the trailer. I have the basics but some of the things I didn't use often, like my stock pot, didn't make the transition. We do have a neat device that is like a slow cooker without electricity. You fill up the pot with whatever crockpot meal you want and bring it up to a boil on the stove. Then you put the metal pot into a plastic liner that insulates. It cooks throughout the day and by the time you get home it's dinner. When we get to VA next week I'm going to try some making some crock pot chili (yes, with beans).

This is the trailer looking aft from the kitchen. What you can't see is Gracie's crate. It's next to the couch. Most trailers would have a dinette where Gracie's crate is located but there wasn't one in the trailer when we bought it and it's turned out really well. Gracie and Charlotte both ride in the truck with us when we're traveling. Gracie isn't trustworthy when we're not around. Even though she's over a year old being in the kennel so long before we got her has stunted her level of maturity so we are still dealing with puppy behavior. We're here most of the time so she's out playing with her toys, chewing on our rugs and basically laying right where you need to be. She is a very, very, vary lazy dog. We take them both out for a walk each night and Gracie will just stop walking when she gets tired which is about 100 feet away from the trailer. We make her go for a walk anyway. She doesn't like it.

Here is our bedroom/office. We have a couch in the trailer (previous picture) that we can use to work on but we seem to migrate to the bedroom and work there. The cellular modems we use are not very good so when we have things to do that require we have a better connection we head out to a Starbucks, grab some coffee and go to work. That doesn't happen too much but on occasion we've had to resort to the kindness of Starbucks. Charlotte is in her usual place, on top of all the pillows. Her job is to bark at dogs and cats that are outside during conference calls. She does that very well.

Here's the trailer from outside. It's a MaxLite but the name is a misnomer. This trailer is anything but light. It's very well equipped which means that it is on the heavier side of what our truck can pull. It's made of an aluminum frame with fiberglass panels so it's sturdy. Not like the newer models made with 2x2s and corrugated aluminum. I'll deal with the weight and mileage hit for a more sturdy trailer. Since we'll be camping where it's cold the extra insulation and central heat will be welcome. Those aren't generally available in travel trailers.

The trailer has a fold out awning that keeps the sun out of the windows and allows us an outside spot for grilling and hanging out neither of which we've done yet. Matt has a bug phobia and hates to be outside. I'm looking forward to sitting outside on a cool evening in the VA woods with a fire burning in the fire pit. I have a feeling I'm going to be alone in that. Notice the stars on the awning. We're in a gay campground and everyone decorates their trailer. We were here for almost 2 weeks before we got with the program. We were looking a little poor there for a while. Now we are all set. We have LED star lights that change colors. I think their the best lights in the park now except for the couple with the disco-ball (yes, seriously they have a disco-ball).

We're a month into our adventure and having a blast. We've experienced some technology issues but for the most part we're working. Still no TV but that's not been a problem. We've learned the lesson of a place for everything and everything in its place. That is key to living in a small space.

Thanks for the emails and comments. Keep them coming.

Todd

Times A Wastein'

As our time here in the Saw Mill Resort and RV Camp comes to and end, I have some thoughts about our life in a tiny house versus the 3800 sq ft house we lived in before. In a word I'm loving our tiny house it and to my utter and shear joy Matt is loving it too. I thought if anything was going to bring this adventure to an untimely end it would be that Matt hated it and we would be forced to find a place more settled to live. It's not without some challenges.

The dogs are settled into their routines pretty well. We take them out on long walks every day and since we're all in the trailer together they get to be closer to us than when we had the house. There isn't a lot of free space with the two of us and two dogs so we're pretty much together anytime we're in the trailer together. The dogs don't mind at all and look forward to their walks. The problem I foresee is when we change locations. The routine will change and they might be a little anxious but I think, after a while, they'll learn the pack up and go routine and things will be fine.

Medications and doctors are another challenge. So far we've managed to use the Publix Pharmacy to get our refills. Our doctors have been really great at authorizing our refills even when we're out of state so that hasn't been a problem. I have some specialized meds I take so I have to be right on top of those and give the pharmacy extra time to get those filled. So far so good.

The mail situation is pretty easy. When we left Charleston we had our mail forwarded to a private mail processing center in Houston, TX. They scan the envelope and send the scan to us via e-mail. We can then ask them to send it to our location, open it and scan the contents and send that to us or just shred it. So far we've only had two things forwarded to us here in Florida and it worked out perfectly.

We bank with Bank of America since there are branches in all 50 states. Matt's paycheck is directly deposited but if we need a bank they're pretty easy to find. The best part is making deposits by taking pictures of checks and sending the pictures to the bank. We've used that service without any problems so banking is pretty much as simple as you can get.

One of the biggest changes that has come with our Tiny House adventure is that we don't have TV of any kind. No DirecTV and no over the air TV. I do selectively watch a couple of shows that I can get through iTunes or Netflixs but in general we don't have TV. Gone are the nights wasted sitting in front of the TV for the night. Now we read, write, go to the pool, take the dogs for a walk and at times spend some time reading the news online. That leads to one challenge that we haven't really addressed adequately -- Internet Access. We have 2 cellular modems that sort of work Sometimes the streaming is OK. Sometimes the surfing is OK. But a lot of the time its a challenge to even Google to load.

When we first got here I was having some serious TV withdrawals. I had my shows planned out all week, the DVR was programmed and I spent too much time watching things rather than doing things. Now I have two shows that I like to watch. I catch them on iTunes when I get a chance. Sometimes I'll treat myself to a documentary but streaming with the cellular modems is very expensive and until we find a park with free WiFi we'll be severely limiting our TV time. I can say now, after being without TV for over 3 weeks that I don't miss it. Too many other things to do.

I haven't spent a lot of time (any) cooking in the trailer. It seems like at the end of the day once we're both ready to stop working the last thing we want to do is cook in the trailer. We need a little break. We generally go out and explore the local eating establishments. Sometimes we really lucky and sometimes we really unlucky. I think as time goes by we'll cook more in the trailer but for now getting out and about town is more along the lines of what we're ready to do at the end of the day. We have a full stove with an oven and a microwave. We keep the refrigerator stocked with sandwich meats and cheeses and drinks so in a pinch we can always eat at home.

We did have one really strange lunch. We were at Matt's parent's house doing laundry and as the last load dried we decided to try a bbq restaurant just down the street. The menu looked pretty good when we sat down. Matt loves mushrooms so when he saw fried mushrooms he had to have them. We were the only ones in the place but it took forever to get the appetizers. When it finally arrived our waitress was laughing. She thought one of the mushrooms looked like a penis. She couldn't get over it and had to take a picture of our food. That was the highlight of the meal. The rest of the food was really bad. How they stay in business I don't know. I suspect they are a front for the local mob and launder money. There is not another reason in the world that restaurant should still be in business with food that bad. Most of the food we've had has been pretty good. We've purposely stayed away from the chain restaurants and tried local places. One place we tried, The Taco Bus, was out of this world good. The food is authentic and it's actually cooked in an old school bus. It's a bit of a drive down to Tampa from where we are but as we're running around town on errands we might just have to try it again.

Speaking of errands we've had a couple. Matt sold his car (the BMW and love of his life). We just couldn't justify having two vehicles. We had a hitch problem that took us to Camping World. Let me say that I've been impressed with them from the day we bought Mabel Rubain. The hitch was a little low so I went in and had them jack it up a little. The hitch itself weighs about 75 pounds so it was a job hiking back to the service department with it. But one of the employees saw me and drove a golf cart down to pick me and the hitch up and drive us down to the service entrance. From that point on it took about 15 minutes to get an adjustment and that was it. No charge, great help, very caring people. I'm really liking Camping World. I can see now why they are so successful in what they are doing.

Mabel Rubain has had some hiccups here lately the biggest being the galley grey water tank not being drained. This model has a grey water tank for the galley, and a separate one for the shower and bathroom sink. Good idea in theory. The problem is the drain for the galley tank is at the front of the trailer and the drain for all other tanks is in the rear of the trailer. Out drainage hose fits perfectly in the rear drains but not in the front drain. Not knowing we filled up the galley tank and didn't realize until after we had drained the other tanks that the galley didn't drain. It only contains soapy water but since it's over full it makes the galley smell bad. I think tonight I'm going to drain it on the grass. You're not supposed do to that but what's a little soapy water among friends? Other than that Mabel Rubain is working well. The temperatures have been around 95 each day and the air conditioner struggles to keep the trailer cool - especially on humid days. We've had some pretty intense thunderstorms with heavy rain and have had no leaks!

One final thing we've learned. Everyone at the park decorates their camp site, trailer or motor home with lights. When you walk around at night it looks like everyone is having a disco party. We came unprepared so when we took a trip to Ikea we found some really cool LED lights that we could hang from our awning. Now we fit into our neighborhood.

In two weeks we'll be headed north to Bull Run in Virginia where we'll stay for 3 months and then possibly up to New York for a couple of weeks in January if we think Mabel Rubain can handle the cold. We'll test out her cold weather features when we're in VA and make a decision then. Eventually we'll head south again but that timeframe is still up in the air. That's the nice thing about this life. We can basically decide where we want to be and when. No rush.

Driving Home:

Location: Charleston, SC

The trip home from New York was tough. We broke it up into two legs. One leg down to Virginia and the other leg from Virginia to South Carolina. The bright part of this leg of the trip was seeing my favorite aunt. I tell people to imagine a cross between Lucile Ball and Auntie Mame and you'll have an accurate picture of this wonderful woman. She has and still does play a big part in my life so getting to see her was wonderful. Even if it was brief. We're planning a trip back to the area in September and plan on spending about 3 months there.

Getting back through Baltimore was a little easier this time since we followed the truck hazmat route and avoided the Baltimore Tunnel. That took us out of our way a bit but we avoided driving through the city at rush hour towing a trailer. The last time we did that it at 2:00 AM and there was little traffic. This time would have been at peak rush hour. I shudder at the thought.

We ended up on the beltway at rush hour. That brought back many memories. While serving as a corpsman in the Navy one of my many duties was to drive an ambulance. To this day when I hear sirens I get a big jolt of adrenaline. I would really like my lights and siren back. Matt says no.

About 20 miles from the campground the trailer's brakes started to squeak. There was no place to pull over so we continued along the beltway. When we finally found a place where we could safely pull over we discovered that the automatic breakaway braking device had triggered and was intermittently applying the trailer brakes. The solution was simple -- reset the breakaway device. Another one of those little details that you learn as you get on the road.

We stayed at Bull Run Regional Park for the night. It is a beautiful park with mostly pull though sites. Not being an experienced backer-upper yet I always appreciate a straight in shot. We were only there for a night and then we packed up and headed back down the road.

After leaving Virginia we headed down I-95. It was a long and boring drive made worse by how slow our progress was due to the trailer. On a good downhill we can get close to 70 but the next hill easily slows us down to 55. Outside of hills we average just under 60 and that's about it. The truck has a special transmission setting for towing. It alters the way the transmission goes into low drive and keeps the RPMs up. Supposedly this makes towing easier. It also drastically reduces our fuel economy. Generally we can run about 450 miles on 26 gallons of gas without the trailer. Towing Mabel Rubain drops that down to 260 or so before we have to fuel up again.

Our dog Charlotte is pretty much a trooper. She likes to get out at rest areas and see what other dogs have left behind. Charlotte gets so enthralled with peeing on top of other dogs pee she doesn't stop. She pees and walks and squats all at the same time. She can make 4 or 5 spots in the matter of minutes. as far as she is concerned she is now the owner of all the land between Charleston and New York. Gracie is a little less a trooper and more of a curmudgeon. In general Gracie Mae doesn't like anything except sleeping and eating. Anything else and she's grumpy and growling. When she goes she has to find just the right spot to pee and it must be pristine. No other dog must have ever gone there. It can take 10 minutes of walking around in the hot sun waiting on Gracie to make her selection. This whole new adventure has been a big change for them but I think they're getting more used to the trailer and the new sounds they hear. Gracie is sleeping though most of it.

By the time we made it to Charleston the dogs were tired of riding, we were tired of riding and we didn't drop the trailer or unload. We took what we needed and called it a night. That's when we made our 4-6 hour rule. I'm sure we'll run into circumstances where we'll have to break the rule but in general we're going to try and make things easier not harder.

We're in Charleston waiting for the house to close and then we're off to Florida to visit with Matt's mother for a month. Now that Matt and I are married dare I say visiting my mother-in-law. She'd probably fall over in a dead faint.

On Our Way Again

Location: Dade City, FL

We left Charleston on a clear and hot Tuesday on our way to Florida. Before you wonder, yes we do know how hot Florida is in August. In fact we're enjoying 100 degree temperatures as I write this. The trip down was uneventful however it was long. We try to limit ourselves to 4 hours not more than 6 hours of driving per day but since we were late getting out of Charleston we decided to make the drive down to Dade City in one day.

Matt has been promising his mother that he'd visit this summer. We needed someplace to be after we cleared out the house so we decided that we'd spend August in Dade City and head up north to Virginia in September. We both prefer colder weather so we won't mind welcoming the first cold snap leading up to winter. Right now our plans are to stay in Florida until the middle of September and then head up to Bull Run Regional Park in Centreville, VA. We stayed in that park on our way back from New York after we were married and really wished we had more time to spend there. The plan is to stay through the end of the year. We'll be close to my favorite aunt and will be able to spend time with her. After the first of the year the plan is to move up to Liberty Harbor RV Park outside of Jersey City. We don't have any idea how long we'll stay. Matt's current book is based in New York and he wants to spend some time there as part of his research. Matt spends a lot of time making sure the details of his books are accurate and that takes some research. I tease him that I think he likes the research better than the writing.

We're basically waiting for the powers that be to bless the sale of the house. We spent a week packing up what was left after the estate sale, throwing away items that we couldn't give away or donate and relying on the kindness of our friends Mina and Sarah to let us store some things that needed to be temperature controlled in their house. The week was brutal for two reasons. First we had to make some very hard decisions about giving up things that we loved. Second, even though we only had our bedroom, the kitchen and the lanai to work though the task was monumental. The heat didn't help nor did the boxes of books that we kept and carried up a flight of stairs for storage. I guess that is what happens when you marry a bibliophile.

August in Charleston is really hot and humid. When you go outside it's like someone threw a wet blanket on you. We worked hard through those days filling up a dumpster we rented to get rid of the things that Habitat for Humanity wouldn't take. We left the house very clean, unlike when we moved in. I never imagined that over 10 years later we'd be moving out. After our last move we both decided to never move again. This time we had no choice.

Driving out of Charleston for the last time wasn't really a big deal. I drove right pass the turn off to the house on my way down to I-95 and then south to Dade City without really giving it a thought. The trip was long and uneventful. I rolled into the campground at about 7:00 PM and that's when all the fun started.

Our trailer is 31 feet long and it takes some work to get it backed into a campsite. Matt was about an hour behind me so I had to try and get the trailer into the campsite before it got dark. The narrowness of the road, an ill placed fence and no one to guide me was making my attempts at parking Mabel Rubain difficult. After about 5 aborted tries someone from the campground came over and asked if I would like some help. His name was Brian and we managed, after some additional aborted attempts, to get Mabel Rubain into the slot between another camper a fence a tree and a picnic table. All that was left was to unhitch and get the water and power on. Easier said than done. Getting the hitch undone is usually a two man job. It's a special hitch that is designed to balance the load between the truck and the trailer. The hitch itself weights a good 50 or 60 pounds. The problem is the trailer part of the whole contraption doesn't always unhook without some jumping up and down on the rig or getting the truck to jiggle just enough to make it come loose. That is hard to do when you're alone. Once it did unhitch I managed to get the tow chains too tight so they wouldn't unhook from the truck. After I resolved all of those issues I realized that our spot wasn't even so I had to hook up the trailer again and move it to a more even spot on the site. It's still not even but at this point if I don't fall out of bed it's good enough for me.

After all of that maneuvering I had managed to get the back end of the trailer very close to the utility stand where we needed to hook up for water and power. It was so close that I couldn't get the bay door open to get out the power cable or the water hose and filter. That meant that I would have to crawl into the other side and pull all of the equipment out that way. By this time I was out of breath, soaking wet with sweat and ready to get the air conditioner running. If nothing else was going to happen that night the air conditioner was going to be on and running at full blast.

Matt, of course, arrived after all of this. Both the dogs and I were grateful to see him. They had been sitting in the truck watching this whole maneuver and actually being quiet. I was surprised. Matt was their hero though. He took them out for a walk they desperately needed.

As I write this Charlotte is asleep curled up behind me. Gracie is asleep in her crate and Matt is dozing off next to me while mumbling something about not writing bad things about him. This is our life and so far it's been a little challenging. Each day we learn a little more about our rig. Today we managed to figure out the awning. Tomorrow I'm going to be figuring out the process for emptying our tanks. One or two more things and we should become more experienced and this whole process will get easier. We have 28 more days here to figure it out here in Dade City. Then it's up to Virginia where we'll get to learn all about the furnace. That should be fun.

Todd and Matt Get Married The Main Event

Matt and I got married on May 29th, 2014 in City Hall in New York. We got married. Not gay married, just married.

Fifteen years ago on May 29th we had a little (40 people) commitment ceremony at our home in California. We decided that we'd like our anniversary dates to correspond so we specifically picked the 29th as the day we wanted to marry. That was not without some challenges.

Our original plan was to get married in New York and then come home and have a huge reception here in Ravenel. We were planning on a DJ, dance floor, catering, wine, photo booth and gift bags for each attendee. The guest list was over 100 people. Then we re-thought the whole idea. At the time we were having problems with the mortgage company and we weren't sure we'd have the house in July (when we were going to have the party) so we scaled back. We started planning our trip to New York and then realized that was getting out of hand too. So we re-imagined the whole event and downsized to a simple elopement. In hind site I am really glad we downsized. We had some bumps in the road as it was.

We arrived in New York with Mable Rubain in tow on May 28th (Matt does not like calling the trailer Mable Rubain). The plan was to park, get the dogs in the trailer, turn on the air conditioner and take the light rail over to the court house to get our paperwork in preparation for our marriage on Thursday. When we got to City Hall the place was packed. Lots of couples waiting patiently for their turn with one of the clerks. We took a number and found a seat while we waited. While I sat and watched all the other couples I realized was sitting in a place where I was considered just as important and equal to all of the other people in the room. I didn't really realize how the feeling of being a second-class citizen had permeated my consciousnss. I've largely been out since I was 15 and for all this time I've had this thought in the back of my head that I wasn't as legitimate as everyone else.  But sitting there in the Clerk of Courts office I truly felt included.

New York has a strict 24 hour wait peroid between the time you get  your initial paperwork done and when you can actually get married. We waited about 2 hours for our turn and by the time we had the paperwork done we were past the cut off for getting married the next day. We really wanted to get married on our anniversary date so we had to get a judicial wavier from the court allowing us to get married with less than a 24 hour wait.

The waivers are given twice a day at 11:00 AM and 3:00 PM. We were too late to get a wavier on Wednesday so we completed the paperwork with a hope that we'd be granted the wavier at 11:00 the next day. We'd done everything that we could to ensure our wedding happened on Thursday. It was in the hands of the court now and we'd be given the same level of consideration as any straight couple in the same situation. The clerk in that office was very nice and helpful. It was nice.

We had dinner with friends in Chinatown, had a terrific hot towel shave and trim at a barber shop in Little Italy and finally headed home tired but very happy. The next morning things got a little tricky.

Matt got up early, without waking me, and went into the city to check on our wavier. I woke up to my cell phone ringing. It was playing Matt's ringtone. He was in a panic. One of the checks we had deposited to our checking account to cover our expenses in New York didn't clear so we were overdrawn in our checking account. The bank had already moved money from our savings account to cover the overdraft but that meant we were still overdrawn. It was my job to get on the phone and get this cleared up and get the money from the check we deposited that didn't clear. It turns out that it was a check from our Scottrade account.

I decided that I'd get the them to wire the money from the Scottrade account to our bank account. That seemed to be the fastest way to resolve the problem. I called our bank (Bank Of America) to get the details for our wire transfer. When I called, was put on hold and finally connected to a banking representative. "I've got a problem. I'm getting married today and I'm overdrawn on my checking account." I have the guy who answered my banking information and he quickly pulled up my account. Then he said, congratulations on your wedding day. I was surprised at first. This was the first time I had told anyone about my pending marriage and the result was someone congratulating me. It only took a couple of minutes to get the wire transfer information. When I hung up I realized two things. First, I actually said, out loud and to a stranger, that I was getting married. And second, he congratulated me. My next call was to Scottrade. I really didn't think it was going to be easy to get this done over the phone but I was going to try. I called our local office in Charleston and easily reached an account representative. Again I said I was getting married and I needed to get some money wired from our Scottrade account into my checking account today. Again, the first thing I heard was congratulations. I explained my predicament and the representative took care of my request with no problems. The money got transferred into our checking account and we were all set to get married.

In the meantime Matt picked up the judicial wavier. No problem on that front either. On my way into the city I thought about the morning's events. I told two complete strangers I was getting married to Matt. Both were genuinely happy for me and offered their congratulations. The financial transactions I needed for accounts that listed both of us were handled quickly and without problems. It felt amazing. This country is changing.

My brother and sister-in-law were going to meet us there as were our friends Mina and Sarah. Sarah was our official witness. We only had to wait about 20 minutes until our names were called and we went to the anti-chamber to the chapel to wait. Within minutes we walked in to see the Justice of the Peace and actually get married.

For all of the prep, it only took a few minutes to actually get married. We had the familiar "do you Todd take Matt to be your lawfully wedding husband?" ceremony. We exchanged rings got choked up saying our I dos and it was over. Our witnesses and attendants all clapped and we kissed. It was a wonderful feeling.

Until I started writing this blog entry I really hadn't stopped long enough to really consider what changed in my life on May 29th and how it has changed the way I feel about my world. I really like referring to Matt as my husband and I do whenever it comes up. We live in a marriage-inequality state (soon to be changed I hope) but I refuse to discount my relationship because of local conventions. We live in Charleston which in the state of South Carolina is a liberal bastion. Everyone we know here knows us as a couple. We have joint checking and savings accounts, wills and insurance policies. And now we have a marriage license.

I never thought I'd see this in my lifetime. I'm married and as a married person I have all of the rights and responsibilities as any other married person. Hopefully soon the state of South Carolina will be required to recognize my marriage just like every other marriage. I can't wait for that day.